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So I guess, it’s goodbye

June 15, 2012

Thus it was that the little prince tamed the fox. And when the time came for his departure, the fox said: “Oh, I shall cry!”
“It is your own fault,” said the little prince. “I wished you no harm but you wanted me to tame you.”
“Yes, indeed,” said the fox.
“But you are going to cry!” said the little prince.
“That is so,” said the fox.
“Then it has not helped you in any way!”
“It has helped me,” said the fox, “because of the color of the wheat fields.”

I should have seen the warning signs. I should have shut my door and never stepped out of my solace. Yet I have my needs. I have my yearnings. I have my feelings.

So it happened. I have been tamed, not fully aware of the consequences I have to deal with when it will be over. I hate myself for this foolishness I feel. Yet what can I do? I have been tamed and have let myself get attached to the monotonous excitement of being alive.

Why am I sad all of a sudden? Why do I grieve?

If I have known this would happen, would I refuse thy offer? Maybe.

Days have turned to weeks. Weeks to months, months to years. Years? Has it been that long? It felt like yesterday.

Why am I doing this to myself? Will it help me cope with the writhing agony I feel?

Such foolishness, I must stop this. I am overreacting.

Or am I?

Tell me it’s just a fleeting thought. Tell me this is all but blunder. I think I can accept a lie. Allow me to wallow in my mirage.

Deep down, I know. I have to let it go. Someone will have to endure the hallow feeling of being alone again. Someone will have to endure the presence of everything while being so empty within.

That someone is me. I am the casualty.

“Awakening”

Intramuros,Manila

14 June 2012

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One Comment leave one →
  1. Angel permalink
    June 15, 2012 19:13

    … I’m sorry but I have to leave with you still breathing here.

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