I admit I can be a drama queen most of the times. I can be down, emo and just plain unhappy. This is also one of the reasons why lately I have opted to avoid friends that tend to suck out the remaining ‘positive energy’ in me. Of course, the fact that they are your friends means that they are the first ones who can understand you, give you advice, and cheer you up. But let’s also be honest here. There are friends who, no matter how dear they are to you, will be the last people you want to hang out with when you are in the dumps.
I have been asking myself lately if I have totally turned into a bad friend. But every time I search for the answer, the word “no” comes to mind. It’s hard to be in the company of “emotional vampires” — friends, who, I would like to believe, do not really intend to suck out the happy energy in you but right after talking to them, you couldn’t help but feel forlorn. Yes, maybe I can be an emotional vampire and I feel sorry every time I realize that. This is why now, as much as possible, I go with friends who I am sure will make me feel happy and recharged after meeting with them. It’s not that I am turning my back on my other friends, it’s just that I have my own baggage that I think I have to carry too and there is no room in my system that can tolerate another weight. At least not yet.
Am I being ‘plastic’ then? Pretending to be happy among my other set/s of friends? No, I don’t think so. We know we all have our problems. We talk about these problems but the difference I think is we don’t dwell on them so much that it kills the fun of getting together. I mean, we are all busy with our lives; we all have our different schedules. It’s hard enough to set a specific date and time where everyone is free so why waste the few hours together sulking?
Again, I’m not saying I’m no longer friends with the other group/s. But I want to look forward to meeting friends to watch a movie, dine out, maybe have a few drinks for awhile, talk about things that bother us and ask for advice but never to dwell on these problems too much. I don’t want to meet with people just to talk about the problem that existed a decade ago (okay, maybe just a few years ago?) as if we are having the dinner to celebrate that problem. It’s just too energy-consuming and we all need to save energy. Even if it’s the emotional kind.