Day 01: That Four-letter Word

Challenge: Write about your current relationship. If single, discuss how single life is.

Ask me my thoughts on love or relationship and I will give you my two cents. I am not an expert, I’m far from it. I don’t even have a ‘real’ relationship to relate to. I have been out of the league for eternity that I can only share to a few confidantes my own drama on unrequited love.

I know. How pathetic. Unrequited love. But that’s me. I tried fighting the urge, if you can call it that, but can you teach your heart to refrain from falling in love to the wrong person? That person being oblivious to the fact that it’s him who gives you inspiration and the hurt at the same time. And just imagine if it is an unrequited love that involves a friend.

I try to think if it has been my choice to fall for my friends in the past. But no, unfortunately it has been my weakness. I think I have breached that line thrice. It was not a fun ride, not something you can boast of. It’s a silent love. And the silence can kill you. You pretend everything’s fine when it’s not. You smile every time he talks about his love yet deep inside your heart is breaking. I remember back in college when I fell for a friend who was courting a classmate. The girl was giving him a hard time and everyday, as he confided his sufferings, my loathing for that girl grew. What’s funny was that a few years after, the guy started courting me. That time, I have moved on and he was just a friend to me (he still is until now).

When my friends talk to me about their love problems, I always seem to point out the obvious in the most point blank manner I can muster. It’s not because I want to hurt them or make them feel bad. I just care so much about them I guess my motherly instinct takes over and I just have to tell them the facts that they are so unmindfully leaving out of the picture. And at the end of the ‘therapy session’ I would always agree with them that come my turn of complaining about my man, I would get my share of the ‘hard facts.’

Love, love, love. It’s not that you don’t want it. It’s just that you don’t feel it for the right person. It’s always been flattering every time a guy professes his feelings for you but you just can’t be in a relationship for the sake of just being in a relationship. I remember I wanted so much to be in a relationship but I backed off when I realize I was not that in love yet.  Sure, I still wonder what could have happened had I chose to take that plunge. Would it have lasted? Would it have been wonderful or traumatic? Then again, I still believe that things happen for a reason. I still want to believe that what’s in store for me will finally be worth the wait. Until then, why not just spread the love and enjoy the ride?


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